Sure it’s great growing up playing with dolls. Playing dress up and all that fun stuff. Then bam we’re teens and all the shitty stuff starts happening. We get boobs, which not only get in the way, their kind of a pain in the ass. We got to find the right bra and finding a comfortable bra….. forget it. Padded is uncomfortable and no use if you have bigger boobs. Plus when you wash your padded bra the boob shapes never end up right again. You will end up with lop sided titties. Or a Cyclops uni-boob. Either way it’s far from sexy. If you go the wire route just know at the wrong moment your wire will rip out of the bra and impale you. It hurts most likely you will bleed and then if you’re not somewhere you can do a quick fix you will again have a uni-boob and again we are on the non sexy train. You can either try and make a hole and rip the other wire side out or jam the wire in the hole it came from. It’s a struggle no matter what you choose. Then we have the sports bra with is some what more comfortable but you always have one boob and you can’t run or you may slap yourself in the face. You will have to try and take your rouge titties. All this goes out the door when you have a strap failure, you have the option if there is enough to tie a knot or you could make a tube top bra which could fail your boobs and drop them like a bad habit. Leaving you with a oh shit nip slip. This is just the beginning….
Then we have the whole period shit. This is pure torture!!! Seriously this may in fact be the worst single thing about being a female!!! This can cause your boobs to hurt, backache, and severe cramp’s. I’m not talking like baby cramp’s in talking like don’t want to breathe feel like you’re dying cramp’s. It feels like something is attacking you from the inside like some little monster is ripping you apart. It’s always made worse by stress and life is full of bullshit and stress. Forget about wearing white or light colors. Forget about trying to prepare and predict when the evil beast is coming because you will be wrong. Forget be optimistic and thinking it’s gone too. Nope it will be right back with a vengeance. Then prepare for an emotional rollercoaster like no other, you will literally hate everyone and everything. Then you will cry over hating everyone and everything. It will completely screw with you. I don’t usually but sometimes I crave sour stuff so I eat a few lemons. I have never craved chocolate but a lot of women do. Seriously guys if or when your woman has her period be nice do something extra special because we are going through hell while our bodies battle themselves. We can also have bad leg cramp’s, get the shits or get constipated I mean the list goes on and on. NONE OF THE IS A FUN RIDE! Periods are messy and a pain in the ass. You never hear any woman say oh I wish I had my period, or I can’t wait for my time of the month. Buying pads, tampons are also expensive. It’s not like it’s something we can go without, we can’t choose not to have a period. Or be like nah I don’t need tampons.
We also have to go to the coochie doctor. We all hate this it’s always awkward, and really hard to have any kind of a conversation with a doctor whose all up in your business. The exams are not very painful but they do hurt sometimes. We usually try and picture ourselves anywhere else but where we are. Sometimes doctor’s make really awkward comments, like oh I need the smaller speculum you’re really shallow….. Ummm like I don’t give a shit don’t talk about it just get the shit over with so I can get dressed and feel like a human again. Then when we get older we have the whole mammogram thing. Yippee we get our tits squeezed in a machine like you’re milking a cow. Another awkward thing we have to endure. They hurt they pinch and no matter what men think it’s not fun having your tatas flattened like a pancake.
We also have the I’m old enough to shave stage. This is where it’s so cool to shave you feel empowered, like a real woman. You shave like every few hours, yes I’m exaggerating but you get the point. We shave even when we don’t need to when we are younger. When we are older we switch to the shaving season mode. Winter were cool let the shit grow, then summer ugh bring back the hedge trimmer we’re hairy as heck. We burned ourselves out in the early years of shaving, now we only shave below the knee.
The older we get the more shit we go through. Having a baby is great I’m sure. Unfortunately I’ll never know the feeling of being pregnant or giving birth so I can’t speak on it.
Then we have menopause to look forward too. This I can speak on because in going through it. It’s sucks like really sucks. You get horrible hot flashes, you’re moody and no one understands you. You have anxiety, depression and sleepless nights. At times nothing makes you happy. You just want to be left alone, then other times all you want is a hug and for someone to tell you it’s all going to be ok. In the dead of winter you could wake up sweaty and nasty. Guess what you still have your period too. At this point you really feel cursed. We go through so much being women I don’t think men can or will ever really grasp what goes on with us.
Sometimes I’m like wtf why couldn’t I have been born with a penis, I’m glad in a woman but it’s a struggle. So cut us some slack sometimes! It will be greatly appreciated.